Sometimes your heart is pulled in a few directions at once.  I never could understand how it happens, or why, but maybe to make us more flexible?  Because I can't imagine my heart ever snapping back...  So instead, I let it stretch and find peace in the little things.  In the smell of the hay in the feed loft, in the cool leather of old saddles...  And I wonder if sometimes the pain is worth it.  Well let me tell you, IT IS.  Whenever a good thing comes around, we should take it, right?  Whenever something comes around that needs a little good, we should give it, right?  So we are stretched in two directions, giving, taking and walking a thin line between heartbreak and a peace of mind that we could never find elsewhere.  Maybe it doesn't make sense to anyone.  Maybe I'm caught in the middle of one of those deep waves, like when the ocean crashed around you and you get scared for a split second and wonder if you are going to be able to come up for air... Charles Durham summed it up pretty good: "Life is like the ocean, very vast and beautiful.  But when you are caught up in it, and you discover how unimaginably powerful it is... it is then that you must swim, or perish."

Oh come on heart.  Please swim.  For the love of God, swim... please.

Late evening walks...

Yesterday evening, me and my brother, and mom and dad all went for a walk.  The sun was going down, and it was casting this gorgeous yellow glow on the wheat fields.  The bean fields were green and lush, the sun gleaming through the irrigation's mist.  Queen Anne's lace was dotting the access path, and the river was a quiet beauty...  It just so happens I had my camera.  And then I got the idea... maybe I should always have my camera with me, to capture some of these things.

The Horse Prayer



Feed me, give me water, and care for me, and when the day's
work is done, give me shelter, a clean bed and a wide stall.
Talk to me. Your voice often substitutes for the reins for me.
Be good to me and I will serve you cheerfully and love you.
Don't jerk the reins and don't raise the whip.
Don't beat or kick me when I don't understand you,
but rather give me time to understand you.
Don't consider it disobedience if I don't follow your commands.
Perhaps there is a problem with my saddle and bridle or hooves.
Check my teeth if I don't eat, maybe I have a toothache.
You know how that hurts.
Don't halter me too short and don't dock my
tail... it's my only weapon against flies and mosquitoes.
And at the end, dear master, when I am no longer any use to you,
don't let me go hungry or freeze and don't sell me.
Don't give me a master who slowly tortures me to death and lets me starve,
but rather be merciful and take care of me,
by letting me run and enjoy a warm pasture.
Let me request this of you and please don't regard it as disrespectful
if I ask it in the name of Him who was born in a stable like me.
Amen

(author unknown).

Clinic Today!

Today was a great Sunday.  I went to the Sherman Road Ranch for a horse clinic.  I only audited today, but it was still a great day.  I learned lots of new things, and got lots of tips.  It was relaxing to just be in the barn, to smell the horses, to feel close to them.  It has been a tough few days.  But nothing is better than horses.  They help you heal.  They help you let go.  They help you realize that you are loved, that you are cared about.  They are unconditional.  And all of those things are things I could really really use right about now.

Also, I'll be looking at a horse on Thursday, maybe she could be my match?  Cross your fingers!  Here is a quick video from the clinic today.  Ground work  in the round pen  :)